silly me is silly. i dont know why. is it because im too blind to see or what. not that i dont know. but the fact that im too stubborn and idiot makes me the one who cried the most. always me who's going to hurt. i cant blame anyone. at least i tried, show some effort. if you ask what had happened, i wont tell you. god, hell no im going to tell you in public. and nope belle mademoiselle, this is not about my love story. no, urmm, what i meant is this is not about my current love story. this is about waaaaay-long-time ago. 2 years back, when i was in SMESH. the first time i laid my eyes upon him. he's not that handsome or what, but he has his own charming and compelling side. compelled me to l like him, to love him.
i cant say how i like him actually, its complicated. i cant breath, cant sleep, ever wondering what he felt about me. did he liked me as i always like him, etc etc. as simple as that, he catches my attention. suddenly all my world revolved around him only. that special feelings i get when i catch his eye, when we were in the same group, when he respond to my requests, etc etc. its a feeling i cant describe. happy but at the same time depressed. always constantly watching out for the signs. its amazing how he affect my life. a big standing ovation id give him for making me so vulnerable like never before.
and as times goes by, my feelings towards him deepens. waiting for him to say those three words, making me looks like a fool. i am a fool after all. that is why i ended up posting this entry. no point in continuing, just stop already. cause i'm don't worth your time. cause in the end, you ended up with somebody else also. cause in the end, i am the only fool. foolish long enough to ever thought that someday you might ended up liking me. guess i'm not up to your standard. bye then. this is a permanent goodbye. last entry about you. bye Mr. F. you no longer in my heart. hopefully.
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